Objectivity: Truth in Pulling Stakes

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS ON CHOOSING YOU!! Whether you realize it or not, that is exactly what you are doing when you choose to be objective on your reality.  You are choosing to put yourself first.

So, what does being objective about your reality really mean anyway? Well, in my words, it is taking a step back out of the weeds of your life and seeing everything, you, your relationships, activities, ALL OF IT, from a birds eye point of view. The way I understood it from my friend, Wendy, is we all have these ‘stakes of our life’ in the ground that we have attached ourselves to, which we believe is creating certainty for us. However, life is always changing so by keeping the stakes we stay in a vicious cycle of continuing to rearrange our stakes making ourselves think we are creating change. 

Now look at your stakes from an objective vantage point, where you can more clearly see where you have placed stakes in the ground which you have tied a rope from it to yourself. These stakes are relationships, your stories, your activities, traditions, jobs, anything you are clinging tightly to in your life. These stakes keep you walking around in circles making you feel like you are DOING what you need to for change to happen but really you are just walking in circles.

Change could be: a friendship ends, your marriage looks different than anyone else’s but somehow you both are stronger for it, you give up corporate life for the life of an artist, you stop watching tv, etc. See change can be many different things. For me one of the changes I recently had a realization around was my relationship with my grandchildren. 

Short pertinent story about ‘pulling up stakes’…My five year old grandson called me and I didn’t answer because I was in the middle of something. Later I called him back for him not to answer. Well that evening he called me back and said, “TayTay I called you and you didn’t answer.” (with an exasperated tone in his voice, as if I am supposed to be on standby waiting for him to call me at any moment.) I laughingly replied, “I called you back and you didn’t answer when I called.” He said, “I was busy and didn’t want to talk when you called.” At this moment, I paused and realized I was okay with his response. Before my paradigm flip for Permanent and Comprehensive Healing, the pulling out all my stakes, I would have gotten my feelings hurt and out of my hurt feelings would have reprimanded him for being rude. However, all of a sudden with this realization that my feelings weren’t hurt and him reflecting to me that he was CHOOSING TO PUT HIMSELF FIRST (as most five year olds do), he gave me a gift. I responded to him with a big smile and said, “Good for you having fun. I don’t want you to ever feel like you have to answer just because I called you. I love you.” As if he fully understood what was going on within me and this little moment we just had he smiled BIG and said he loved me too.

If you were to look at all your stakes, your relationships, activities, anything you are holding tight to and start ripping them out of the ground – no more stakes, no ropes – how does that make you feel? I know for me, it created a TON of anxiousness. This pushed me to the edge because without my stakes (even though I didn’t even realize they were there until I was able to be objective on my life), WHO AM I? What happens to my relationships? How does this help my health? What will I ever do with my time? Can you feel the panic I started feeling here?

All my edges were being pushed and now you are choosing to push yours too – but you have a great advantage, you now know ME, Betty, and Wendy because well we did this and we survived. We are proof pulling up all your stakes will not cause you to die, even though there was a moment there I was like “F-it, all of it, I simply don’t care anymore.’ Now because we have gone through this, I can tell you this ONE TRUTH and I want you to read this next short paragraph carefully and repeatedly, if necessary, because it will help you more than anything. 

“My mind was creating all the false fears, doubts, panic, and anxiousness – my mind and my mind alone. My mind alone made me think I was going to have to lose everything – my husband, my dog, my grandchildren and more. THE TRUTH IS THE ONLY THING I LOST WAS – MY OLD SELF. I let go of my old self to become who I have always been inside – THE TRUE POTENTIAL OF ME IN MY AUTHENTIC TRUTH. The bonus here, if I had not surrendered it all, I would not have had that MOST AMAZING moment of truth and authenticity with my grandson the other day. WOW!”

BONUS TRUTH: This one is from my good friend, Betty, and I won’t say this as eloquently as she did, but when she got this truth, I sat in complete AWE and a bit of jealousy of her because I had not gotten it yet. She said, “all my relationships are reflections for me to learn something about myself.” MIND BLOWN! You helped me with this mic drop moment - especially when I was able to release the mind prison of my own creation.

So much gratitude to Betty and Wendy for their insights and truths for which I get to learn from daily. See there is that GRATITUDE thing again.. 

Now how do you feel about the CHANGE, the TRUTH your KNOWING is showing you in this moment? Can you see allowing yourself to fly high out of the weeds of your life so you now have an objective vantage point of where you have stakes?

I can tell you this as a CERTAINTY, pulling out all my stakes and having the OBJECTIVE point of view is FREEING!! I have never felt more free in my entire life. Am I still learning – absolutely because that is what I am here to do, but oh my goodness do I feel AMAZINGLY good about my life, the capacity of me, the potentials for my life, and I AM GRATEFUL for all my experiences equally.